A Fresh Start

How long it's been since I sat down to write a blog post. Sheesh, it feels like forever even though I know it's been less than a year, sometime last fall to be exact. I spent a couple years building my last mom blog, the domain to which is now owned by someone else. I'd toyed with the idea of starting fresh, and the $349 dollar price tag on my old little section of the internet was the final straw in my decision to begin a new project.

Welcome to Brain Stain! The tale of a nutty single mama and her rambunctious spawn. It's been a year since our family has transformed, and the back and forth schedule is becoming easier week in and week out. Naomi and I spend every day we get together getting as much time outside as possible, in the yard, or at nearby parks.

My daughter is in the middle of babyhood and being a kid. Her expanded vocabulary every time she returns from her dad's house blows my mind. I try to push out every enjoyable moment with her as long as I can, savoring the ever fleeting moments of her needing me. Such a independent soul, her anger seeped out today as she watched the older kids at the park jumping from one faux dino bone to the next.

I get it, I really do, for as of late I myself have felt a dissapointment in my abilities to accomplish my goals. Seeing my mini get so mad about not beining bigger, being able to climb higher and take greater risks had me hiding giggles behind my hand. Only a couple short years ago I watched as she struggled to stand, to take tiny steps, to form words out of gibberish.

I'm so proud of what my girl has accomplished in such a short time, how is it that I do not see my own movements forward in such a light? After having Naomi my entire universe changed, every goal and aspiration became tailored to how I could take care of this little being in the best way possible for us both. The steps I've taken towards those goals were not ones I could have skipped, and taking a different view on my progress lends me a softer perception of myself.

There has been so much gained in the midst of so much loss, so much growth thats come from the thick layer of bullshit I've endured over the last year. I'm a peace with parts of myself that were rubbed raw from existing day in and life that didn't fit me. I don't wake up in a panic at the challenges I have to face for the day, but excited by the realization that I am living life completely on my own terms.

I'm so looking forward to recording this leg of my journey here, you can expect to find lots of DIY's, inside looks at Oregon life, and lots of photos of my cool kid.

Love me,

Mama Bee