A Open Letter to my "Threenager"

My sweet daughter,
I've chosen to sit down this spring night, in the middle of a Mercury Retrograde, and write this love letter to your future self. There are so many things I want to impress upon tiny you right now, so many large concepts and perspectives, I'm only planting seeds in your 3 year old mind, but already I've noted the garden of your consciousness growing immeasurably. It is ever expanding, and this realisation serves as a reminder that keeps me on my toes as your parent constantly. So often as a child I needed to see words like the ones I'll write to you below, and will continue to write to you periodically through the seasons. My intention in our connection is to foster a closeness that does not fade, to be a unyielding support and solace in your life. For that is what I feel, and have always felt it means to be a mother.

Do not waste time trying to rationalise the irrational behaviours of others. Do your best to be understanding of others faults, and the faults you encompass that are similar in nature, go easy on all unless it is to save more pain. Don't be afraid to take action even if the process is uncomfortable, your heart will tell you what is worth the fight. Know that I will never judge you, and want you to always feel like I'll be here to listen to you or help you, but that I also respect if you need time to be alone.  Understand that the fierceness you encompass was passed down from a long line of gritty woman, you are the manifestation of every change they wished they could accomplish in their lifetimes, but maybe didn't get to complete. It will be up to you to listen to your inner guidance on how to best help progress this planet of souls at this crucial point in time. Though I do have experiences I want nothing more than to share with you, keep focus on the things you feel will help change the world into a better place for us all.

I see such a desire in you to exert your will already, and I know you get frustrated being so small right now. Please know I treasure this time with you so much, and take much solace in being able to care for you the best ways I know how, by spending time simply with you, losing ourselves in moments others count going by. The things I tell you to do, say, immolate, think or feel, are all things I've learned help me build a stronger and better version of myself. When you whine to me about the things you don't like, I always try to switch your perspective as quickly as I can to something that makes you happy, just as I do myself. I'm so very proud to see such great progress in you lately Little One. From always being willing to get artistic with me, to helping carry home groceries from the store, I see my little baby growing into a curious girl.

Being your mom is something I take so very seriously, because I've wanted you since as long as I can remember, which was before I was even your age now. The first time I saw your face I remember being so awed by the fact that you, perfect you, had been growing in me for those long 9 months. You looked at me like you were peeved I'd just interrupted your morning by introducing you to the world, I'd said for months at the end of my pregnancy that you would come in the morning, with the sun. As you run out from your big girl bedroom, that you've been sleeping in all alone, I am filled with awe yet again at all that you're conquering at this point in your childhood. I've met adults with less of a vocabulary than you my smart girl, with your ever present quickness and questioning mind. Having you to brighten my life, challenge my perspectives, make me wanna tear my hair out sometimes, has softened me in a way that no other person or thing has done.

Don't date guys who have cats, have mom's who still pick their clothes out after they're 15, or are named Jeff. Trust me on all of those, I don't know why it's science, but it's science. Always keep your silly sense of humour, don't discredit your stubborn streak. Eat more veggies and fruits than any other foods and always drink lots of water, even if it makes you pee a ton. Never stop laughing at butt/poop humour, "maturity" is over rated. Appropriateness is and appropriateness does. Don't be afraid to laugh, one rarely regrets it, but make sure it is always at things you wouldn't mind if people were laughing at you about. Always keep a perspective on kindness, and be brave enough to stick up for others if they are made the butt of a joke, even if they did it with their own foolish actions. Compassion is not only for those who deserve it.

Always know without a doubt that your mom will love the crud outta' ya no matter what you do or don't do in this life. Know also that sometimes that will mean I'll encourage you to enter uncomfortable situations for your growth, and that I'm doing it trusting that at some point down the line, you'll understand. Stay goofy, Stay honest, don't dwell on bad things whatever they may be. Listen to good music. When you're in a funk change something, your clothes, tidy the house, make some art, change your environment, shower away your bad mood, anything that empowers a better feeling moment. Sooth your soul with tea, plant flowers for bees. Put yourself out there even if you feel like a weirdo, weirdos are the best kinds of people.

Take at least one day a month to veg out and do absolutely nothing. Clean your house then sit and enjoy it by yourself, find solace in being alone as opposed to feeling lonely. Learn to be your own friend, cheer yourself on, write yourself encouraging notes and place them around the house. Foster your own energy and become aware of where you are getting and giving it, you'll be ahead of the game once you realise to some extent that energy is tangible and yours is up to you to decide what to do with. Don't become stifled by obligation, busy is good, but balanced is better. Remember to have good posture, hold your chin up and back straight, you are a woman of great power, you have been marked by the god's, when you doubt this just look at the red V shape on your forehead. Divine feminine, behave as such always, warrior girl.

Though you may face trials where it feels like no one understands you, please know that if you give things time, they usually even out. This existence ebbs and flows in cycles, ride it out baby girl. At any time you need to, don't hesitate to call upon those that have come before you, even if it is only sentiment left behind by them, I know from my own experiences those that have parted will send you signs if you need them if ever you truly do. Don't question magic as much as everyone will tell you to, those who do not believe will not see what is right in front of their faces, they give no weight to coincidence and live in a world that lacks splendour.

Find ways to make your life work for you, there will be pressure to go about things specific ways, make sure your choices align with your heart and soul. Don't let others tell you your feelings, especially any partner in love or friendship you may ever have, if they are meant to be in your life it will blow over, even if parting ways hurts at the time. Love forgives all. It is why it is so easy to love you silly, sweet, genuine girl. No matter how frustrated, grumpy, or glum you I become you're the easiest person to restart the day with that I've ever met. Just walking with you in nature turns around most any bad mood we've ever had. Don't ever loose that connection. Put yourself in situations where you have time to lull beside trees taller than buildings, feel your minuteness.

I love you Naomi Rose, with all that I am, have been, and will ever be. My sweet daughter, I'm honoured to share this blood, time, and experience with you. The more I get to know you, the prouder I am of who I see, I honestly can't even imagine you as a woman clearly, because there are so many parts I can only anticipate that you'll come up with, my imaginations would never do them justice. Though I know you will be strong, love hard, and be absolutely beautiful in every way, with a sharp whit and ability to bring sunshine that is present in you now.  I hope that most of all, if there's anything that you glean from me being your mama, you know know without a doubt how much I appreciate every day I spend with you. I welcome all that is to come.



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